Bassackwards.

So I'm in the library at beautiful Karl-Franzens University. I'm waiting for a book. Why don't I just go get it myself? Oh how I wish that were possible. See, that's not the way things work here. If things were speedy and convenient, you would have more time to the things you wanted to do. And that's not what they want. That's not what keeps people with absolutely no skills employed. See, if I want a book, I have to request it. I can't just have it. Request. I have to go to the library, get a key for a locker, put my things in a locker, go to the computer stations, go back to my locker and get the piece of paper where I wrote down the name of the book I need, put my things back in the locker, go back to the computer stations, search for the book seven times, find the book, find the copy of the book that is in THIS library, enter my student ID number, enter my birthdate, pee in a cup, swear on a Bible, and wait an hour for some hunchback in the basement to find the book I need and bring it up to the front desk. Where I finally get it. For anywhere from seven days to 5 months. Depending on what type of book it is. Who knows what type of book it is? Where does it say? When is it due? I don't know. It doesn't. I don't know.

So I read CNN.com to find out what is going on at home. Which is to say I have no idea what is going on at home. Mostly I read CNN.com for a laugh. Like this for example:
"Scientists seek source of Mount St. Helens blast."
This just in: Mount St. Helens is a volcano. For more information, see 1980.