Blink and you might miss it...

"Bull Durham" is one of my favorite movies of all time. Here are some great lines. They may not appeal to everyone, but I think they are great.

Coach: Excuse me... what the hell's goin' on out here?
Crash: Well, Nukes scared, 'cause his eyelids are jammed and his old man's here. We need a live... is it a live rooster?.... we need a live rooster to take the curse off Jose's glove, and nobody seems to know what to get Millie or Jimmy for their wedding present. That about right? We're dealing with a lot of shit.
Coach: Well, ah... candlesticks always make a nice gift...and maybe you could find out where she's registered... maybe a place setting, or a silverwear patten. OK? Let's get two.

Crash: Relax, alright? Don't try to strike everybody out. Strikeouts are boring, and besides that they're fascist. Throw some ground balls. They're more democratic.

Coach: You guys... you lollygag the ball around the infield. You lollygag your way down to first. You lollygag in and out of the dugout. Do you know what that makes you? Larry?
Larry: Lollgaggers!
Coach: Lollygaggers.

Crash: Well I believe in the soul... the small of a woman's back... the hangin' curveball... high fiber... good scotch... that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent overrated crap... I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a Constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve, and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days. Goodnight.

Other quotes about baseball:

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base. ~Dave Barry

I'm convinced that every boy, in his heart, would rather steal second base than an automobile. ~Tom Clark

No game in the world is as tidy and dramatically neat as baseball, with cause and effect, crime and punishment, motive and result, so cleanly defined. ~Paul Gallico

Back then, my idol was Bugs Bunny, because I saw a cartoon of him playing ball - you know, the one where he plays every position himself with nobody else on the field but him? Now that I think of it, Bugs is still my idol. You have to love a ballplayer like that. ~Nomar Garciaparra

With those who don't give a damn about baseball, I can only sympathize. I do not resent them. I am even willing to concede that many of them are physically clean, good to their mothers and in favor of world peace. But while the game is on, I can't think of anything to say to them. ~Art Hill

Say this much for big league baseball - it is beyond question the greatest conversation piece ever invented in America. ~Bruce Catton

Baseball is an allegorical play about America, a poetic, complex, and subtle play of courage, fear, good luck, mistakes, patience about fate, and sober self-esteem. ~Saul Steinberg

I have discovered in twenty years of moving around a ball park, that the knowledge of the game is usually in inverse proportion to the price of the seats. ~Bill Veeck

They are supposed to be dispassionate dispensers of Pure Justice, icy islands of emotionless calculation. In short, umpires should be acute Republicans. ~George F. Will, 1990

I believe in the Church of Baseball. I tried all the major religions and most of the minor ones. I've worshipped Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Siva, trees, mushrooms and Isadora Duncan. I know things. For instance, there are 108 beads in a Catholic rosary and there are 108 stitches in a baseball. When I learned that, I gave Jesus a chance. ~Ron Shelton, Bull Durham, 1988

Rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for the house in blackjack. ~Adam Morrow, quoted in Bill Simmons, "Letters from the Nation," 20 October 2003

For more, check out: http://www.quotegarden.com/baseball.html

The Living Is Easy...Across the Seas. Part Zwei.

Jams, thanks for making me feel not so far away. 31 days and counting.

The Living Is Easy...Across the Seas.

Fans,
First of all, I'd like to thank you for the outpouring of support for me and my endeavors across the seas. Second, I need to apologize for the complete lack of blogging over the last month. I am truly sorry. The internets are elusive across the seas. They are hard to find, those internets. When I find one, I usually don't have time to say something profound, and, as you all know, if it isn't profound, I don't bother saying it. Steve, I'd appreciate your criticism of the punctuation in that last sentence. Bryan, proofread. For reals. Terra, respect knuckles for the consistent and entertaining blogging. It gives me something new to read nearly every day, and that is worth it's weight in gold here across the seas. How are things? They are all cold. In what language are they being discussed? Name one. Finnish, Swedish, Italian, French, Türkish, German, Austrian German, Swiss German. Check. Apartment life? Solitary and, therefore, ideal. Food? Not very often. Walking? All the time. Spiritual growth? Growing. Trash? Four different kinds, picked up every day. Thank you for your interest. You are all just Disco. More to come, if the internets are willing.