Movie Reviews

So last Saturday, Jamie and I went to Fiesta Square and saw Closer. It is the first movie I have ever seen in which I disliked, and even hated, all of the main characters but still liked the movie. I use the word "liked" liberally. It was entertaining and, as far as I can see with my very limited understanding of film-making, well written and directed. The movie jumps forward in time at several points, bypassing some important changes in the relationships between the characters and then shows the characters dealing with those changes after they have taken place. It only took one or two of these leaps forward to realize they were a specific tool being used and I came to expect them every so often. Clive Owen is a dick. Natalie Portman is a scalding hot hot hottie, albeit a very screwed up hot hot hottie. Jude Law is a weasel, again. Julia Roberts is an all-new Julia Roberts, and I really enjoyed her character. So I take it back, I did enjoy one of the characters in the movie. I left the theater depressed and very suspicious of the female I had seen the movie with. Is she scheming and manipulative? A passive-aggressive bi-polar psycho- sex-fiend? Is she going to going to ruin my life and go back to being a stripper? And then I was relieved. It was just Jamie. Aside from making me never want to become emotionally involved ever again, the movie was good. I give it an A. But I give every movie I ever see an A. It had a few Damien Rice songs in it, so I give it an A. Ha.

And then...
Landon, Jamie and I went to Razorback and saw Ocean's 12. It was big funny fun. It was pretty entertaining. The one thing I didn't like about 11 and don't like about 12 is the movie-goer has almost no chance of guessing how it is they are going to pull off the heist until it's over. Sure, you see them preparing for it and getting all ready and making plans, but in the end you realize you had been shown %11 of the plan and they did it in some other way. And that's fine I guess but this time around I wanted to guess, get it right and pat myself on the back and tell my friends I knew it all along. Anyway, Matt Damon was hilarious, so was Julia Roberts, I hated Catherine Zeta-Snooty-Stupid-Jones again and seeing Bruce Willis was just odd. His head looked like it had been Turtle-waxed. Twice. Get some popcorn and some M&Ms and enjoy. It's light, it's fluffy, you'll forget a lot of it, but it's entertaining. I give it an A. It had that French guy from Le Pact de Leux and I liked that and I thought he was good in 12. I give The Brotherhood of the Wolf and A too.

But the week before that...
She from the past let me borrow that French movie Amelie and that was just plain awesome. Seriously cool and entertaining. Funny, sweet, colorful. I give it an A. It had that short guy from Alien Resurrection. Seriously. Man, Alien Resurrection was downright horrible. But it had Winona Ryder in it, the love of my life. So I give it an A, along with Amelie.